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Chin Humour

Chin Resolutions


Chin Resolutions


New Years Resolutions made by our Chins for 2002:

[A cautionary note from Yoghee : Since resolutions are meant to be broken, I am sure they will break it just ONE second into the New Year!]


B Jones

Millie Moo's resolution is
          ... I will not poo in mom's slippers



  • I WILL chew on the walls and baseboard more - I've been slacking.
  • I WILL run away whenever mom comes to pick me up.
  • I WILL eat off Baby's whiskers because I can!
  • I will chew daddy's shoelaces more often.
  • I will steal nutrical if mommy doesn't give it to me.
  • I will make more of an effort to be a feisty brat.

  • I will squirm and bite whenever mom and dad try to put medication in my eye.
  • I will continue to be shy because mom and dad think its cute.
  • I will put up with Sophie for only as long as I have to.
  • I will eat all of the calf manna before I touch the pellets.



  • I will let Romeo have his way and give mom some babies.
  • I will not kick Romeo out of the sleeping box just because I'm in a *****y mood.
  • I will not kick Romeo out of the dust bath.
  • I will try and be nice to Pebbles, and will not try and bite her through the cage.

  • I will stop begging for raisins (and I will not lie to daddy and say mommy didn't give me one already)
  • I will stop being scared of Pebbles and if she's mean I won't run like a little chicken, I'm a MAN baby!
  • I WILL convince Silver to mate and give momma some babies.

  • I will NOT chew up my water bottle.
  • I will NOT chew my water bottle.
  • I will NOT fight with the others.
  • I will NOT cling to the sides of my cage and then jump, scaring the life outta mom.


Candi and the chin kiddies

Group resolutions:

  • We won't eat the covers off any books, remotes, or powercords the people foolishly leave sitting around.
  • Next year we won't hop onto all the Xmas packages and pee on the tree skirt.
  • We will try to refrain from tasting the artificial Christmas tree and ripping the paper off the presents.
  • We won't attack each other when we stick our nose in the bars of our neighbor's cage.

Individual "mia culpas":

Panda Pig
  • I will stop playing "ring around the toilet" when mommy tries to catch me.

  • I will try not to break into song at the top of my lungs at 3 am.

  • I will try not to be such a "queen" amongst chinchillas and warm up to everyone else who is not my "people daddy"

  • I won't eat the fur off my butt, I won't eat the fur off my butt, ah butt taste too good...chomp

  • I'll learn where is and isn't an appropriate place to weewee
  • ...and I'll try to figure out what to do with my extra back leg when mom picks me up... (she leaves it dangling).

  • I will be a daddy this year!

  • (Oh no he won't)....

  • I'm perfect, my people know I'm I see no reason to change for this year.


Cheng-Hung Ng

  • I will aim more accurately at owner before shooting urine :)



  • I will stop chewing up the food bowl.
  • I will not harrass my children whenever they steal a raisin from my mouth.
  • I will not chew up the walls, speakers, and other important cords.
  • I will not hide behind the computer.
  • I will not attack Sam (the dog).
  • I will not try and hit Roxy in the face.

  • I will stop running underneath the heater.
  • I will stop stealing food from mommy.
  • I will stop beating up mommy.
  • I will stop trying to mate with mommy.
  • I will try and nicer to Apricot.

  • I will stop trying to beat up mommy.
  • I will stop trying to wrestle with Hazel.
  • I will stop squealing whenever mommy comes near me.
  • I will stop trying to jump on top of Roxy.
  • I will go to sleep once in a while.



[I doubt any of these will be met...Hey...even chinneys don't keep their resolutions!!]
  • I will not bark at my mom anymore!
  • I will TRY to get along with Bullwinkle.
  • I will share a cage with a new roommate (although I don't see the need).
  • I will eat my food and not just pick out the Calf Manna.
  • I will get back into the cage when I'm asked.
  • AND I will make my first FULL year in this house SPECIAL!!

  • I will try to figure out my name.
  • I will learn to fit in.
  • I will love my new owner.
  • I will be nice to the little brat that keeps biting me.
  • I will be a perfect chinney!



  • I will try not to pee in the food dish anymore ( Yea right).
  • I will try not to push all my bedding out of the cage onto the floor.
  • I will try not to steal my roomate's treats out of her paws.
  • I will try not to poop in the food bowl.
  • I will try not to hog the wheel.

  • I will try not to jump on mom when she opens the cage door.
  • I will try not to bug Breezy so much and let her sleep.
  • I will try to clean my privates more often.
  • I will try to not poo on Breezy's head.

  • I will try to give my mom a white violet female kit.
  • I will try to look more cute [Impossible].
  • I will try to give Whisper more snuggles.
  • I will try to stop hogging the nutrical.

  • I will try to stop chewing on the sides of the cage.
  • I will stop making crying sounds to Zuri (Mom won't let me have her).
  • I will try to stop throwing my bowl on the floor of my cage.
  • I will try to stop unhooking my water bottle.



  • I will stop when my mom wants me back in my cage.
  • I will be nice to Basil.
  • I will start pooping on the bottom of the cage and not the top and then push all of it out onto the floor.
  • I will love my mom forever.

  • I will keep my weight up by eating my food. [He's the runt]
  • I will be nice to Pepper.
  • I will love my mom forever.


Christi/Chin Chillin

  • I resolve to take my prozac daily and stop skipping pills - because although it's fun for me to be evil, it's not fun for the other chinnies and my humans.

  • Hmmm, resolutions huh? Well, since I'm perfect and really the best chin in the whole bunch I think I'll skip this cause there's really not anything I need to change about myself. Ok, so maybe I should share a little more. But that's it. Really. Oh, and I need to lose this baby fat a little quicker. But nothing else, really, I'm perfect, really, I am!!!!

  • I resolve to work on my ego, it's gotten a little too big - but what can I say, I am a pimp!!

  • Um, hmmmm.... Um, my New Years - what's that called again?

  • My NY Resolution is to finally get my paws around those gals necks and get rid of the competition once and for all - you'd better watch your back girls, this house is MINE!!! *maniacal laugh*

  • I need to gain weight. Yeah, yeah I know - poor me, here all you ladies wanna lose weight and I get to rub it in that I'm too skinny.

  • My New Years resolution is to get to know my new hunny who'll be here soon!! Oh, I have to get my makeup done - and my fur, oh it's a mess - someone help!!!



  • I am perfect! Therfore I need not have any resolutions.

  • I will hide better when I get over the pet gate.
  • I will catch Dante and make him pay.
  • I will limit my squealing at night to before 3:00am.

  • My mom loves me best, so I also need not have any resolutions.


Debbie Doyle

My Chins' resolutions would be
 try and all get along.
 biting each other.
 trying to take another Chin's mate.



  • I will not eat the cake on the alter.

  • I will let mommy carry me.

  • I will not shake so much.

  • I will not run away when I see Kiki.

  • I will not bully Chip.

  • I will not terrorise Chip korkor and Cookie daddy.

  • I will eat more to grow bigger.



  • I will not eat books, magazines, ect.
  • I will not scold my human for trying to touch me.
  • I will not steal treats from my cage mate.
  • I will not fling poo [ok, my Chins don't do this but I know a lot of people who have Chins that do!]
  • I will not chew on my human's fingernails.
  • I will not bite the cat.
  • I will not pee on small children causing them to fear me for life.



  • I will eat ALL my pellets, even when mom gives me a few treats.
  • I will stop pulling all my hay out, just to throw it all over the floor.
  • I won't leave poops on mom's bed when i'm out running around.
  • I will not steal photos and hide them under the bed when mom is organizing her photo albums.
  • I will try not to chew up the computer cords and then poop on the computer when my mission fails (or mom intervenes)
  • I will stop eating mom's ridiculously expensive college books!

  • I will stop pretending I don't know my name.
  • I will stop biting when I don't get my way.
  • I will not eat the carpet any more.
  • I will not pull all the hay out of my hay rack, and then rip the rack off the wall and drag it half way across the floor.
  • I will stop biting mom's toes because I don't like her socks!
  • I will not bite my brother anymore!!



  • I will not spray urine whenever mommy cleans my house.

  • I will not learn mommy's bad habit of spraying urine.

  • I will learn to share my food bowl.

  • I will learn how to stand up for myself whenever Stuart bullies me.


Gwen Knight

  • I will not crap in my bath house.
  • I will try to decrease the noise as I run up and down the stairs of my critter condo at all hours of the night.



  • I will let Milo run on the wheel when I'm not using it instead of jumping in and kicking him out.
  • I will not grunt and push mom's hands away when she is trying to take me out for my playtime.
  • I will not try to steal Milo's treat when I'm finished mine.

  • I will not try to steal Harvey's treat when I'm finished mine.
  • I will not stop being adorable and jumping into mom's hands when she comes to take me out.
  • I will try not jump the steps and run away giving mom a heart attack cuz mom worries about my safety.



  • I will not bite the wires and cause blackouts.
  • I will finish my pellets.
  • I will pee in the pee pan.

  • I will not attempt escape.
  • I will not bite.
  • I will not disturb Mommy when she cleans the cage.
  • I will learn some tricks like Toto.



Silk (Prince Keldar)
  • I will not eat the wallpaper off the walls.
  • I will stop destroying my mommy's bag by chewing it.
  • I will stop eating the phone charger cables.
  • I will be friendly and nice and jump in mommy's hands when she wants to pick me up.
  • I will not decorate the room with poos thrown from my cage.
  • I will stop rolling in the sand on my cage floor and use the sand bath instead when mommy puts it in for me.
  • I will snuggle with mommy.
  • I will respond to my name.
  • I won't keep mummy up all night by refusing to go in my cage.
  • I will make good friends with the new female chin when she arrives and will fall in love with her and live happily ever after.


Jennifer L. Antelman

  • I will not leave a trail of droppings.
  • I will stop whining if the food is 10 minutes late every once in awhile.
  • I will play more with my Christmas toys.


Jennifer Collins

  • I *will* keep chewing the wallpaper off the wall since my momma wants to take it down next summer anyways. She keeps telling me I'm such a big help. I still don't understand what the big deal is about the wallboard behind you?

  • I will try very very very hard to stop chewing my fur. I know I have no excuses anymore since it's been two years since I was rescued from that terrible petshop....I have a wheel and fun toys now....I have good food and treats.... A habit is hard to break :(

  • I promise I will stop turning into "psycho-chin" when I'm playing outside of my cage.
  • I promise I will not chase Charlie around and try to bite him when playing outside of my cage.
  • I promise I will be a good boy when playing outside of my cage.

  • Hey...I'm just the new kid. I don't need any resolutions...yet.



Fran (charcoal)
  • I will stop eating so much and lose some weight, so my big butt does not continue to get stuck in all the cage doors, sleeping boxes, etc...

Scottie (ebony mosaic tov)
  • I will continue being a pimp and getting everyone pregnant, even between the cage bars if I have to.

Sierra (homo ebony)
  • I will stop being such a bully to all the smaller chins than myself.
  • I will stop fighting over the food and let them eat too.

Teddy (sapphire)
  • My New Year's resolution is to stop being a baby, I am 4 years old now, and crying at every chin that gives me a dirty look, and every noise that scares me.

Lillias (pink/white)
  • I will try to lower the noise level down a bit, and will stop banging on my cage bars all night and day.
  • I will also stop escaping every chance I get to pick the locks.

Pansy (violet female)
  • I will cut down on escaping my cage and letting my owner chase me around and around and around (making me dizzy) the house.
  • I will stop chewing on all those lovely chin toes that continue to walk past my cage. (they are so delicious though! Sigh.)



  • I am also perfect like Tiki [see Dawn's section above] ....except more so of course coz I AM Queen Bee....I need no resolutions as I have no imperfections to correct!

Lindsay: I of course disagree....she is a beautiful chin....but she has these resolutions from me!
  • She must not jump up the bars and cling on until I give her a raisin!
  • She must be nicer to Star and Storm.
  • She must not pee on the floor next to the babies' cage!.

  • I will try to be nicer to my big sister (even tho she's only a week older!).
  • I will try not to steal her treats from her mouth.
  • I will not aggravate Marley even more when she's out by teasing her thru the cage bars!
  • I will not up-end my food bowl every night
  • I will not try to escape again!
  • I will try to be a good chinnie.....for oooh maybe New Years Day!

  • I will not let Star stamp on my head or push me out the sand bath again!
  • I will not let Star tip up the food bowl every night!
  • I will continue to be a cute ickle pretty black velvet girl!



  • I will stop tearing through the house jumping and do brodies off everything and giving mommy a heart attack [she's preggers]
  • I will let mommy pick me up more.

  • I will learn to accept that there are now other males in the house.
  • I will be a good daddy [Roxy's man]
  • I will stop grooming mommy's eyebrows so darn throughly that she need to disguise them.

  • I will stop shooting pee-bullets everytime a hand enters my cage.
  • I will stop letting my sister walk all over me.
  • I will stop throwing temper tantrums like a spoiled brat when the other chins are out for play!.

  • I will be the perfect mom come March.
  • I will share my dust bath.
  • I will stay the sweetest angel.

  • I will put on some weight so mommy isn't so worried.
  • I will stop screaming when displeased.

  • I will learn to make any other noise besides the one I make now.
  • I will put on some weight also.

  • I will pull myself out of this funk of separation anxiety.
  • I will stop hiding my Calf-Manna pellets under my house.



Xiao Feng
  • I will not pee into the food bowl.
  • I will not disturb Shasha when she is sleeping.
  • I will try not to be so horny when Shasha is eating.
  • I will not chew the steel bars of my cage.
  • I will be less hostile to Buffy.
  • I will not get jealous when Shasha kisses Buffy.
  • I will not get jealous when mommy handfeeds Shasha.
  • I will not dig out the hay from the bowl.
  • I will not scrape the paint off the wall.
  • I will not chew the strap of mommy's watch.

  • I will not bully Xiao Feng.
  • I will not pull out Xiao Feng's fur.
  • I will not shoot pee when Xiao Feng tries to be cheeky.
  • I promise to aim properly when shooting pee.
  • I will groom Xiao Feng properly and not chew off his whiskers.
  • I will let Xiao Feng sleep in the Mushroom.
  • I will not snatch food from Xiao Feng.
  • I will not chew and pull the steel bars of the cage.
  • I promise not to try to escape again. Promise.
  • I will let mommy tickle me.
  • I will not dirty my bottom.
  • I will not scape the paint off the wall with Xiao Feng.

  • I want to be healthier and not fall sick so often.
  • I want to grow bigger.
  • I will not be naughty. Promise.
  • I will let people carry me.
  • I will not jump from the table.
  • I will not go near mommy's & daddy's cage and disturb daddy. BUT I WANT MOMMY.
  • I promise not to sleep upside down in the middle of the cage so as not to cause panic.
  • I will not climb up my cage door.



  • I will not wedge myself into places I can't be rescued from.
  • I will not steal homework from off the desk.
  • (and for Merlin) I will stop biting!


Mabel Chan
Oh ya... just overheard my little Chins discussing their New Year's resolutions last night.

-- snipped --

It's another year... I think I heard human mommy to human daddy that its 2002...

Oh lay-lly?!?! < busy munching pellets >

Guess I slept my time away this year.... < yawn and stretch >

The humans are talking about New Year resolutions.

Don't know. Don't care. How the heck do I pick this lock? < scratch head >

For 2002, I want to have 2 more babies. I saw Fidgit. He is such a cute little boy. Miss having kids of my own. < Lay down and started dreaming >

Sure honey!!! < Sheepish grin & thinking: sure beats humping Habo. Hehehe... >

I want to escape from the cage and teach all the other chins in the world how to escape from their human owners. And before I leave, I'll leave a little trail of poops around the house to drive human mommy crazy! < chuckle >

I don't know what I want... let me sleep over it and tell you guys tomorrow. < thinking: but I know I want to hump Howard and stop him from humping me anymore! Woo-hoo! >

Alright! Let's all stand straight, face the left corner of the room, and pray in silence. Put your paws together now.

-- After a fraction of a split micro-second of silence --

Can I go back to sleep now?

Honey, when can I go over?

Mommy, you are blocking me. I can't reach the lock from here.

-- snipped --



  • I will stop rearranging my house after mom cleans it.
  • We will stop having poo flinging contests.


Mary C.

  • I will not jump back end first into my mom's drinks anymore.
  • I will try very hard not to eat slippers.
  • I will never, never again eat a hole in the wall.
  • I will not poo on mom's head when I am sitting on her.
  • I will not take the tie top off the hay bag and hide it.
  • I will try to remember to pee in my pee basket, not beside it.

  • I can't promise, but I will try to be more ladylike.
  • I might give Mumble a break this year, I will try to be "nice".
  • I will stop pacing up and down when I am hyper.
  • I will try not to move everything in sight when I am out playing.
  • I will try to grunt a hello to other chinnies, just to be polite.
  • I will stop throwing out my hay in temper.

  • I will not eat the phone while mom is talking on it.
  • I will not pull my cover sheet through my cage bars and shred it to pieces.
  • I will try hard to leave the nozzle of the enervite tube intact when I am eating some.
  • I will stop sitting in the oat box so no one else can get any.
  • I will not eat the window sill anymore.
  • I will eat the hay that is given to me and not steal it out of the bag.

  • I am very well behaved, I don't do anything wrong at all.
  • I will try to stop telling fibs.

  • I will try to sit still for a few seconds so mum can take a picture.
  • I will promise to remember that I don't have wings and can't fly.
  • I will attempt to not eat everything in sight.
  • I will try to learn how to get in the dust bath by myself.
  • I will stop trying to have a dust bath on my mineral stone.



  • I will not eat the paint off the wall.
  • I will not pull the dry wall down.
  • I will not eat the fabric meant to cover the above mistakes.
  • I will not spray my cage mate when she gets to eat first.
  • I will not seek revenge at my mom by barking at 3am.
  • I will not leave poos on my mom's pillow when getting to play.
  • I will try to bite dad's earrings, and not his ears next time.

  • I will not act like my sister.
  • I will not eat the cap of the nutrical, only the stuff inside.
  • I will not fling poo onto the laptop when mom closes it because I like the hum.
  • I will try to act like a chinnie and not Spiderman and climb up the sides of the cage and across the top of it like they are monkey bars.
  • I will try to get everyone to realize that I am the one who is right, not you.
  • I will train my humans to keep to MY hours and not theirs.



  • I will not chew the stereo speaker cord in half (for the tenth time!!)
  • I will not tease the dog!
  • I will not harrass my fellow chins within the same room, when I'm out!!
  • I will not climb the bookcase and cry to get down!!
  • and lastly......I will not climb in the microwave popcorn bag again!! [What a messy chin!!]


Patience Miller

  • We resolve [at least I think they did] to pee INSIDE the cage and not all over the walls, floors, table, etc.



  • I will stop doing my flying kicks to irritate mommy/ Celine :)



  • I will not PEE in my bath house!



  • I will stop chewing on Minny's whiskers.
  • I will try my best not to bite my mom's nose when she's close to me.
  • I will never steal raisins from Minny's mouth.
  • I will ask Minny politely to get out of the bath house.

  • I will eat more pellets instead of the carpet.
  • I will eat more Timothy hay instead of the wall.
  • I will try not to bark when mommy is sleeping.
  • I will stop eating the mini-maze, because this is my Xmas gift made by mom.



  • I will stop eating the leather sofa [but, I think they had their fingers crossed].


Sandra/Grinnin' Chin Exotic

Cyrano, the Djinn Chin
  • I resolve not to clean myself when company is in the house so Mom doesn't have to explain what I'm doing (although you should see the looks on their faces!).

  • I resolve to get over the baggage from my previous owner and stop pacing like I'm in a hamster cage even though I'm in a three level condo.

  • I resolve to have ALL the girls like me and not get beat up by my mate at all. After 3 girlfriends I think I finally found Miss Right!

  • I resolve to be cuter than EVER although that will be extremely difficult for me.

Aurora (the new refugee):
  • I resolve not to pee in Mom's eyes when she gives the chins below me raisins first (besides, I'm sure she's learned her lesson by now!)

Ragnarok (Rok)
  • I resolve not to be so barky and protective of my mate and babies. I must try to remember that Mom and Dad are here to help not invade.

  • I resolve not to dig all of the food out of my food dish and then act like no one ever feeds me.


Selena Grant

My Chin has promised:
  • Not to wreck my latest remote control.
  • Not to keep the dog awake all night with her gymnastics.
  • Not to jump on the cat any more- he really doesn't appreciate it!
  • Not to chew the remaining corner of my coffee table.
  • Not to lop the leaves off my favourite houseplant.
  • Not to chew the cuffs off my favourite sweaters.



  • I will wait for Kate to clean the cage, and not kick all the shavings out for her.
  • I will stop moping around and stop sulking

  • I will stop fur chewing.
  • I will stop sitting on Freya to make her stay still for grooming.

  • I'm perfect.

  • I will stop giving Kate and Richard heart attacks by jumping at their faces.
  • I will learn to relax.

  • I will not cry when Loki leaves me alone.
  • I will not cry when Loki wants to play with me.
  • I will not cry when something in the room startles me.
  • I will not cry during play time.



  • Zippy has resolved to NOT take amusement park rides around the room.



  • I will not pick and choose with hay.
  • I will eat each bit as if it was as delicious as any other. Same goes for pellets. After all, I am a chin with table manners.


The Chinster

  • I will not strip wallpaper from the walls.
  • I will not eat wall plaster.
  • I will not steal my owner's eye glasses.
  • I will not kick shavings out of the cage.
  • I will not paw my way through the food bowl, spewing food everywhere.



  • I will not chew on electrical cords.
  • I will not let children spoil me. [My 3 Chins stay at school with my 5th graders who continually spoil them. Can't say I blame them.]
  • I will not chew on pencils. (Nasty habit.)



  • I will NOT eat the cable cord for the TV again.
  • I will not steal cigarette butts from my momma's ashtray.
  • I will not INHALE my raisins!


Tracy Harris

  • We will try not to kick poos metres from our cages, so that our carer doesn't have to sweep them up every 5 minutes. (signed Faelin, Piper, Kalea, Bead, Scruffy and Hollis)



  • I will not chew Mommy's house down like a termite then blame it on Odie as I run the other direction.
  • I will not poo 10 times on Mommy the minute she picks me up (I'll wait at least 2 minutes before starting!).
  • I will stop taking advantage of Odie's recovering health to hump him back for all the times he humped me.
  • I will not chew any of Mommy's shoes, even though she has more than enough pairs and won't share with me.
  • I will remain cute and cuddly and the fattest of all the chins!

  • I will stop wishing I could kick Earl's butt.
  • I will not dash around and rattle the cage like a madchin just because it's Earl's turn for playtime.
  • I will stop pulling Zeus' fur when I try to hump him and will actually listen when he scritches at me to go away.
  • I will stop picking all the Kline diet out of my bowl and leaving the Mazuri. I know I'm supposed to eat a little of both.
  • I am not a furry seat, and will refrain from running under Mommy's butt every time she tries to sit down in the play area. Likewise for her feet... I'm not a step stool either.

  • I will try to give up my death wish and refrain from climbing Odie and Zeus' cage during playtime.
  • I will look before I leap more often to make sure Mommy is still where I thought she was before attempting to jump on her.
  • I will try to make my front end go as fast as my back end so as not to bump into things head first.
  • I will realize raisins give me soft poos every time and will accept that almonds, papaya, cereal and the multitude of other treats Mommy has thought up for me will suffice.
  • I will stop looking pathetic at 4:00 a.m. when Mommy is so tired she's falling asleep at her computer, but she doesn't want to go to bed because she's afraid I'll be lonely.



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